Vitality Attack

straight-upswaqq:

I am 181 days cut free. Do you know how long that is? How many hours I had to go through without relapsing? How many nights I went through with those torturing urges? Through all of those triggering thoughts, I still pushed through. I was still able to make it through 181 days without hurting myself. Of course, I still wanted to relapse, but recovery seemed much more beautiful than one stupid cut on the thigh. It seems pointless to cut myself now that I’ve been through this much. I’ve fought a tough battle, I’m not going to lie. But if I had the chance to, I wouldn’t change one damn thing. I don’t regret cutting that first cut. I don’t regret the addiction I got in to. I don’t regret being so close to death, ya wanna know why? Because what I’ve been through has made me the person I am today. I am stronger than I ever imagined myself to be. I am inspired from what I’ve been through, to keep on going. The troubles I’ve gone through in the past motivates me to keep going. To keep pulling myself together to fight for the recovery I’ve always wanted. Just because I can be weak at times, doesn’t mean I am. I am stronger now than I ever was. And that is because I’ve been through a lot. Sure, I still go through shit that I wish wouldn’t faze me, but doesn’t everyone? When I was depressed and I had the addiction of self harming, I would have never thought I would get better. I honestly didn’t care if I got better or not. All I wanted was to be dead. That little girl who ripped open her skin by slicing over 500 cuts into her thighs every single night? That girl who cried herself to sleep every single night?That girl who was so insane that she scared herself? That girl who never thought she would overcome her depression? Yeah, that was me. 7 months ago. Now? I am a new person. I didn’t believe that getting better was an option, but now I know the truth. Everything gets better. No matter what you go through, you will rise up from the pain and overcome it. There will be days that you want to just end everything, don’t get me wrong. But the one thing that I was completely wrong about seven months ago was believing that nothing gets better. It does. If I could overcome that? So can you. No matter what you believe now, take a word of advice from someone who went through it too. It will get better. I promise you with my life that it does. Life gets better. You will too. ♥

(Source: sailed-awayy)